The Introvert Leader

How to Get Anyone at Work to Say Yes

• Austin Hopkins

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0:00 | 16:38

There is nothing more frustrating than needing something from someone who doesn't report to you. Technically, they don't have to listen to you, and it's maddening. In this episode, I share the 4 strategies I used hundreds of times in my corporate career to get anyone at work to say yes.


Timestamps

3:12 – What’s In It For Them: Find something to offer in exchange for what you want.

6:14 – Recognize Them Publicly: People want their work to be noticed. Use this to get what you want. 

9:27 – Tie Your Ask To Something Deeper: Make the ask connect to something that matters. 

12:10 – When Nothing Else Works: Sometimes you have to bring in their manager. I'll show you how to do it with class. 

15:40 – Challenge: Pick someone who isn't responding to your ask and try one of the 4 strategies. 


 

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When Coworkers Ignore Your Requests

SPEAKER_00

There is nothing more frustrating than needing something from someone who doesn't report to you. You ask nicely, you follow up, you keep getting ignored, and so there's nothing you can do about it, or so you think. I have a friend who works in accounting, and he needs the sales directors he works with to update the shared database with client deal specifics. They keep forgetting, month after month, and this screws over my friend. So he reaches out, he asks them to update the database, he sends them an email, he mentions it during meetings. Nothing, keeps getting ignored. So the other day he texts me super frustrated, and in his words, he doesn't understand why people aren't doing the right thing. And this isn't the first time I've heard this. This happens all the time. We all wish that everyone cared about the stuff we cared about just as much as we do. But that just isn't reality. When someone doesn't report to you, they technically don't have to listen to you, and that part is so effing annoying. So my friend asked how I used to handle this stuff when I worked in corporate. If you've ever needed someone to do something and they keep ignoring you, then this episode is for you. Today I'm going to share exactly how to get anyone at work to say yes.

Bird Drama And The One Day Rule

SPEAKER_00

Okay, the last couple of weeks have been crazy over here. I've been dealing with major bird drama. Yeah, you heard me, bird drama. I have had so many pigeons on top of my house and come to find out there was even some living in my attic. Oh my gosh, stressed me out completely. And we got some quotes, and I found out it was gonna cost us a ton of money to get everything taken care of, to prevent them from coming in the attic, to clean all of our roof, all that kind of stuff. And so that first day when I found out how much it was gonna cost, I felt so sorry for myself. I made myself a big old whiskey, I had a real unhealthy meal. I whined and complained to my wife all night. But then I realized day two, I snapped right out of it. I got to work, I got people coming out to fix it. And I feel like this is kind of a pattern with me. And I don't know if you're like me, but anytime something really bad happens, I don't pretend like I need to be perfect and feel amazing day one. I give myself one day to feel like crap. One day to feel all the feelings, to do some unhealthy stuff, to have a little fun. But then day two, I completely put that behind me. No more wallowing, no more feeling sorry for myself. I immediately spring into action and figure out what's the solution? How do I actually get past this? And I feel like it seems to work because I can handle bad news pretty well and it doesn't sit with me forever. I just give myself a limited amount of time to kind of feel bad.

Quick Ask To Follow The Show

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Trade Value With What’s In It

SPEAKER_00

it. I used to think I was being nice when I reached out multiple times for something I needed. It turns out I wasn't being nice. It turns out I was just scared to put a little pressure to apply the right leverage. At the end of the day, the only way to get people to do what you want who don't work for you is to show what's in it for them. Now, if you can't apply negative consequences because they don't work for you, the single greatest tool is to show an upside. In this episode, I'm going to show a ridiculously simple framework I've used hundreds of times to get people to do what I want who don't work for me. What's in it for them? Okay, so I used to manage a high net worth banking team back in the day. They would help clients that had over 500k in assets. Now, they had trouble finding these clients. They were super reclusive, they didn't come into the branches very often. And what they did, they were super busy and they didn't really want to talk with anybody. So my team needed help getting intros. So the company I worked for had around 30 locations at the time, and each one of those was led by a manager. Now, the average tenure of those managers was about eight to 10 years, and they hated change. So when I came in and said, Hey, can your team start sending leads to my team? They all looked at me like I was crazy and basically brushed it off and said, sure, we'll get to it. No referrals came. Then I kind of started panicking. My team needed these leads in order to be successful. So I kept reaching out, sending reminders, telling them why I thought it was important, but our team wasn't getting anything back in return. And then one day, it hit me. There was nothing in it for them. I was essentially asking them to do extra work, and there was nothing that was going to benefit them. So here's what I did. I realized my team had something to offer. It didn't hit me at first, it took me a little while to figure it out, but my team was experts. I had spent hours and hours training them to be amazing at sales. Now the managers of each of those locations struggled with sales. Historically, they weren't that great at that. And we had a new CEO come in, and he was really cracking down and demanding performance from all of the branches. So then my idea was why don't I offer my team's expertise to train their salespeople and in return get some intros and leads that we desperately needed. So this was gonna be my in. And so here's the headline: they were gonna get better at sales, they were gonna then do better as a branch, and then they were also gonna send leads. And my team actually didn't mind the extra work in the beginning because they were gonna get higher quality leads. And as you probably know, anytime you teach something, you get better at it yourself. And so my team was also sharpening their skills. It was an easy win-win in my opinion. So let's say you're in a situation at work where you need something from someone. Here's how I would actually ask. I'll set up the scenario. So let's say you need the compliance team to review a proposal for a new client offer. They tell you that the turnaround time is going to be about three weeks, but you have a meeting with the client in two weeks. Here's how I would set this up. So, as you probably know, in most companies, compliance struggles to get people to adopt the policies and procedures that they've set up. So, what if you helped get their message in front of the right people, the people that they need to adopt these policies and procedures? So it might sound something like this. Hey Sarah, I know you folks have mentioned that adoption of compliance standards have been slower than you'd like, which I'm sure adds to your workload. Crazy idea. What if I invite you to my next team call and give you 20 minutes to teach and answer questions about compliance? Could that potentially help the turnaround for my client proposal? So I've asked for something that I need, I've offered something that was gonna help them, that's gonna benefit them directly, and I've done it in kind of a casual way in an email. So that's how I might handle a situation like that. So here's what you got to remember: you gotta stop asking and waiting. You got to trade value, find what they need, offer it in exchange for what you need. It's that simple. It's an even value exchange. I want to move on to my next strategy.

Use Public Recognition And Reciprocity

SPEAKER_00

Recognize them publicly. People want to get recognition. Most of the time we work hard, nobody notices. We need some love, we need some admiration, we need some recognition. And you can use this to your advantage. So if you can find a way to publicly recognize someone that you need something from, they're almost guaranteed to help out. I know that seems odd, but I know it works. So let me break it down. So here's what I would do: I would find something that would make the person look good that I need something from. I would observe what matters to their department or their team, and then I would find an organic way to kind of call this out publicly. The bigger and louder I call them out, the more willing they are to help me out. So look for recent projects, look for milestones or wins that that person got. And here's the headline: recognition is a powerful motivator. You've heard me say that a lot of times on this podcast. People will work harder and longer if there's recognition, if they feel rewarded, if they feel like they're getting the attention they deserve. So I'll give you a quick story. I used to work with a fraud team and I needed them to review a couple of things for me. And they said their process was normally going to be about a week. I needed this within two days. So I thought, okay, what can I do to recognize this team? Fraud never gets recognized, right? You only go to the fraud team if something's bad. They're never in the spotlight, they're never getting called out on all hands calls. So I found a way to find something that they had done recently that was pretty cool. And so what I did was I spent two minutes, literally two minutes, writing an email to the director of the fraud team, ceasing the VP of fraud, also including a couple of other leaders in my area. And I basically just shouted them out for some of the work they've been doing. Hey, really appreciated all the hard work you guys have done recently. I know it's been a ton of work on your plate, but you guys have been killing it. Something simple like that, right? I gave a couple of specifics. Now, here's the weird part. When I followed up on my request a couple of days later, guess who magically had everything done for me? Wow. Mind blown. Super easy. Sent a little recognition. They were super happy about it. I didn't even have to apply any pressure. I didn't even have to say, hey, can you do this faster? They just felt the goodwill, right? Now I'm sure you've heard of Robert Cialdini's rule of reciprocity, and I think this is just an example of that in action. I want to give you another example that I'm hoping is going to help you if you're struggling with something like this. So here it is. So let's say you're working with Sean in IT, and you need his help to replace your laptop and troubleshoot some bugs you've been facing. You put on a help desk ticket and you hear nothing. Crickets. Now, this would be a perfect time to use a recognition strategy. You find out that Sean just finished a massive server migration and nobody acknowledged it. Everybody just pretended like it didn't happen or took it for granted. Now, before you follow up on your ticket, you could send a message to the IT team and CC a few VPs or mention in the all hands call. You could say something like this: Hey, I just want to call out Sean and the IT team. They just wrapped up a huge infrastructure project and most of us didn't even notice. They killed it, and I wanted them to know how much we appreciated the smooth work. Then later that day or the next day, you follow up with Sean privately. Hey, Sean, I know you're slammed, but I wanted to check in on my ticket when you get a chance. Here's the interesting part. IT never gets recognized, but watch how fast he's going to respond now. People want to feel recognized. So build them up, then ask for what you want. Recognition costs you nothing, but it means everything to the other person receiving it. All right, I want to move on to the next strategy.

Tie Your Ask To Deeper Meaning

SPEAKER_00

Tie your ask to something deeper. So I started this remote sales team with no real way to generate business. They would help clients with their banking and lending needs, but this was the height of COVID. And so we had a cold outreach list, but nobody wanted to talk about banking. They were losing family members, they were losing their jobs. This was not a good time to talk about business. Randomly, I heard about this insurance team at our company. It's a 15-person team, and they would speak with hundreds of clients a day. Now, Carol managed this team. I heard great things about Carol. She really cared about her job, and she cared more importantly about advocating and helping her clients. Now I knew if I could get this 15-person team to collaborate with me, we could generate some real leads. The problem is this had never been done before. And Carol owed me nothing, and she didn't even know I existed. So here's what I did. I worked up the courage to cold email Carol and ask her if she wanted to collaborate. She responded, I have 10 minutes now if you want to chat. My anxiety kicked in immediately. I was hoping I'd have more time to prep, but I had to spend just a couple of minutes of thinking about a super simple way to tie my ask to something that was deeper or more important to her. So again, I knew she really cared about advocating and helping her clients. I knew I could help Carol's clients save time and money and also earn better interest. So I got on the phone and awkwardly introduced myself. And within a couple of seconds, she said, Well, what do you specifically need from me? I said, I'd love for your team to think of my team as a resource for their clients. Anytime they need something outside of insurance, we want to be the ones to help. I know you and your team take a lot of pride in helping your clients live better financial lives. And so I am confident my team can help with that. So here's the good news. Carol really liked what I had to say. And specifically the part about helping our clients with their whole financial picture, not just insurance. This was a big priority at our company at the time, and she wanted to do her part to help her clients beyond just her scope of work. So she agreed for me to fly down to Oregon and give a full presentation to her entire team. Three weeks later, we were in business. I found something deeper that spoke to Carol. And so when I asked for something, it was an easy yes for her because this connected to something that was important to her. So here's how you might put this into practice if you're facing a situation like this at work. Before you make your ask, do your research, do your homework. What does this person care about beyond their job title? Ask around. What is their team trying to accomplish? What does their boss care about? What is the company priority that's on everybody's mind? Find where your ass connects to something deeper they care about, and that's going to be your opener. And I think we all know people are craving deeper meaning in their work, right? They want to feel like they're making a difference, that they're working on important stuff. And so if you can find a way to ask for something that ties into something deeper, people are so much more likely to say yes.

Escalate Strategically By Looping Bosses

SPEAKER_00

Okay, here's the last strategy. When nothing else works, what do you do? Sometimes we work with tough people. They don't seem to care about anything deeper. They don't care about recognition. They ignore you, they shut you down. And you can't find a way to get them to do what you want. This is the time to bring in the big guns. You've tried everything else. Now it's time to take it up a level. So here's what I do. When you keep asking something from someone and they keep ignoring you, giving you crickets, it's time to involve their boss. Now, I wouldn't recommend doing this unless you've tried all of the other strategies. This is a last-ditch effort. This is something that you don't want to have to do unless everything else has been exhausted. And there are some risks, let's be honest. Involving someone else's boss is instantly going to raise the stakes. They're going to be feeling like you're tattling on them. It's not going to feel good, but there's a way to do it without ruining the relationship and without ruining your reputation. And I want to help you understand how to do that. It doesn't mean you have to be a dick and it doesn't mean you have to put them down when you make the ask. You have to do it strategically. So here's how it would sound. Let's say you need the marketing team to update the sales collateral that your team uses with clients. It's outdated and it's costing you deals. You've tried everything. You've showed what's in it for them. You've recognized them publicly. You tied it to a company priority, and the marketing director keeps ignoring you. Weeks go by, silence. So here's what I would do: I would send an email to the marketing director, C seeing their boss, and CCing your boss, and I might say something like this: Hey Steve, I hope the week's treating you well. I'm reaching out because I need some help with marketing collateral. Right now, my sales team is missing out on deals. I'm sure your team is backlogged with a lot of important priorities, but I'm worried that this impact to our clients is significant. Would it be possible to get an ETA or a path to get the marketing collateral updated? And of course it goes without saying, if there's anything I can do to speed this along, don't hesitate to let me know. I've looped in both of our leaders just to make sure we have the support we may need to move stuff around. I'm restating the ask. I'm applying a little pressure by putting the bosses on the email. I'm not calling them out. I'm not talking about them dropping the ball, but I'm letting them know the impact. And I'm bringing in the leaders who can apply the right pressure from both sides, their leader and my leader, and maybe they even bring it up to that level and work it out. I've sent emails like this before. I don't like sending emails like this, but it works. Sometimes you have to tattle on the person and bring in their mom or your daddy to get what you need. Again, last ditch effort, but sometimes it's what you got to do. Now it's never fun involving someone's manager, let's be honest, right? It doesn't feel good to do that. But sometimes we've tried everything else, and that's our only option. So I don't want you to feel bad about that if you have to do that. The key is to not be defensive or attack the person or create any excess drama, right? Because you still want to have a relationship with them after. But the goal is to be straightforward, truthful, and collaborative. So if you're struggling to get someone to do what you want at work, try one of those four strategies. Confident it's going to work. I've tried it hundreds of times in all different kinds of scenarios. I've asked people above me for things, at my level, beneath me, all people who don't work for me. And I've usually gotten yeses using one of those strategies. All

Course Launch Challenge And Closing

SPEAKER_00

right, so I mentioned this in my last episode, but I want to make sure you don't miss it. In September, I'm launching the confident leader blueprint course. Super pumped about it. So click the link in the description to sign up for my newsletter. You're gonna get updates. You can be added to the wait list. I want to make sure you have first access to this course that I'm very proud to bring to you. Okay, so before we wrap up, I want to give you a challenge. This week I want you to think of one person at work who isn't responding to what you need. I want you to pick one of the four strategies we covered today, and I want you to try it before Friday. So you got a couple of days. You might feel a little awkward, but that's a good thing because that means you're out of your comfort zone. That means you're trying something you haven't tried before and you're gonna get a better result. And if you want to work through this stuff one-on-one, I offer coaching. So click the link in the description, be happy to have a chat. So my accounting friend isn't waiting for those sales directors to log the information in the database. He's using those strategies I shared to actually make something happen. So stop waiting for people to do the right thing, take it into your own hands. Show them that the right thing can actually be good for them. So I want to say thank you so much for listening. Make it a great day. Subscribe for new episodes every other Wednesday.

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Austin Hopkins

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